you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's never too late to be topless.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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