I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
two words...techno handjob
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
