you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
