dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
