I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
