did you get engaged???
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
