OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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