he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
