i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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