your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
