I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
