I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
