Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
