ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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