this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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