I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
