Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
