she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
