watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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