Me too!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
