So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
