You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
