bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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