Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
