Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
