How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
