I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
