i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
