Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
