Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
