How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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