Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
