On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
