For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
