Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
