in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize