dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
