there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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