the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
