how do flat chested girls get laid?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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