why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
