He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
