I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
