nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize