Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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