We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
