I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
