I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize