theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
