I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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