therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
