Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
