not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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