i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
