Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
