careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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