Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
