You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
