Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Shame - the story of my life.
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