He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize