I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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