Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
